Back when I was in Psychology, one of my lecturers asked the class a most profound question.
“If I were to burn your degree certificate, can you prove that you are a university graduate?”
Whoa. Can I?
Well, I probably can. All it takes is just some ink-blot test and an over-priced psychologist to push his/her specs in place and goes “mm hmm, low sanity level indicate traces of university education. Possibly due to facts overdose. Best treatment? Check into any company that would take you, ‘cos they say all knowledge learn in university gets flushed out of one’s system once one start working aHUHHUHHUH and of course you have this therapy session to pay for.”
But can I prove that I’m a writer if I have no writing job now, and not even a blog?
If you were within 1 meter from me lately you would have probably heard my whines – my blog was deleted. There were some screw-ups about my gmail and yahoo mail (apparently they are the same account WTF?! Why call yourself yahoo mail when you can actually cross over to gmail? Where’s the standard in the world these days?) and my blogger account became so heckly confusing that I thought the solution was to delete my google account BUT NOOOO they had to delete my whole blogger account as well WHICH was registered under my yahoo mail ALL THESE WHILE.
To summarise, conglomeration sucks.
Anyway, I was left blog-less (three years of work – gone) and with no reply from Google even though I sent them a help form. The form was so hard to locate, and it was just the impersonal ticking-questions kinda thing with no space for me to explain my situation nor shout profanities (or at least, give them a few hundred exclamation marks).
I’m kinda thankful that I don’t blog TOO often, so not thaaat many posts were lost. And that I’m super-kiasi so I actually saved a softcopy of all my posts (except those really old ones... not sure if I have them). And that I don’t have many pictures in my blog, unlike Zeetuwaywern (who I would not allow her to lose her blog because that would deprive the world of her awesome, ass-kicking pictures). But all my comments were gone. *Sob sob*
Back to my rhetorical question. Can I prove myself as a writer if I don’t write? I’ve always put off blogging because I thought, heck, I’ve had so many posts up there already. Personal gratification – checked. But all of a sudden, when my blog was gone, I felt… stripped. There is nothing to show, to proof, anymore. It’s like losing my I/C – my identity suddenly became fluid, debatable.
When have I started to let what I possess define me?
That said, I hope this time around, my new blog would be more of a reflective journey, and not just an Exhibit A that shouts “LOOK, I BLOG! I JUST MADE A PUN!!! FUNNY RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT”. Like Roya said, it’ll be a new start before I turn 21 ^^
But why am I back at Blogger? ‘Cos I’m used to it. Habits die hard, even if that habit has shortened my life due to the head-humping sessions it induced me to do. I have another new site at Wordpress to store my portfolio (if anyone wants to see it feel free to contact me ^^). It’s sleek and all, with really cool designs, but I have never learnt CSS codes and it seems a pretty daunting job to do any tweaking on my own. My blog might explode into gibberish.
To my new blog, I hope you will be a reminder that I, not what I possess, would define my life. Cheers!
