Announcement -

I is 21!

Not a bad start for a birthday post. Simple, concise, yet the excitement rightly accentuated with an exclamation mark and the chaotic grammar. Thanks, Vic, for curing my writer’s block. If it wasn’t for your insightful suggestion, I’d still be stuck here thinking how to start writing about a birthday which I didn’t believe have happened.

I couldn’t have done all that, right?

So, why is the proof, in all its realness, obviousness and cute-ness, staring straight at me?

Shiat. I have done all that.

The most horrible part of all is that I am now grinning incredulously at the memory.

Well, as they say, be careful of what you wish for, because they might just come true. Foreseeing a bleak and lonely transition into adulthood on the eve of my birthday, I prayed to God that even though I had no idea how it would happen, I just hope it would be a memorable 21^st birthday.

Then, God’s answer came in the form of Roya’s cheerful voice over the phone saying that she would bring me out for dinner. Hallelujah. At least I have my dinosaur friend Roya Astani and her amazing ability to turn any bad situation around with a grin. So what if it was just the both of us chatting the night away? It was the part that she teman-ed me on such a short notice, and on a time when I really needed teman-ing, that meant the most of all.

But heck, have I underestimated Roya Astani. Apparently it was not enough for me to be eternally grateful that she came to her turning-21-but-emo-like-a-16 friend’s rescue. She had to make me heart her even more by having the Plan.

To uphold her position as the quality controller among us cin-cai people, Roya needed to make sure that I am qualified to be 21.

Among the stringent operation that she has devised to put me to the test:

1) Do busking (i.e. performed in public while waiting for people to give me money for my effort/shamelessness)

2) Take picture with a random hot guy

3) Greet a random stranger in a foreign language

4) Do a travel show while acting as some celebrity

5) Do obscene poses with mannequins

6) Catwalk down the corridor in front of the shops

7) Scream on the top of my lungs in whichever balcony available (“to let out your anger for the past 20 years,” said Roya, matter-of-factly).

8) Try on three most expensive dresses in the boutiques and cam-whore in the dressing room.

9) Make a list of things that I love in my life, and a list of what do I see myself in ten years time, and read back the list in ten years time

10) Last but not least, wear the bumblebee antenna she made for me all night.

(Of course, being Roya, she wrote down her list of operations on a piece of paper and then happily forgot to bring it. But, being Roya again, that wouldn’t stop her. I suspect she just made the list up as we go along XD)

So, we were in Ole Ole Bali (superb food, exotic interior, expensive bill ^^) in Sunway Pyramid when Roya announced that I was going to be audited for my age. I was like “giggle giggle wth no lah giggle giggle YOU SERIOUS AH horror horror”.

But Roya wouldn’t take no for an answer. Not even one from a bumble-bee antenna donning twenty-year-old who has confused growing old with the need to recapture innocence. Unfortunately for me, Roya has a way of waving her iron fist which convinces the world (or is it just me) that busking on the night before you turn 21 is a damn good idea clap clap clap.

So, our little rendezvous turned out to be a public affair.

Test #1: Busking at the sidewalk in front of Sunway Pyramid

Roya had to dress me up (she brought props, bless her soul) so that I look like a busker and not a drunken bumble-bee impostor. The problem was, I don’t sing, dance, do stand-up comedy or play any musical instrument (besides drums but it’s hazardous for public consumption). Not even in the dark. So, what to do to entertain passer-bys in broad street light? After nagging Roya about my lack of entertaining value, she asked me act like a rock.

“You know, just stone there, not moving.”

Me? Cannot lah. Only Eileen can be stoned and still rock people’s socks. If I’m doing it people would just think I’m constipated or playing hide and seek with myself (I do not seek, therefore I do not hide – it’s so complicated but duh… I think the end equation is that I do not move?)

In the end, I sang. Admittedly after a few false starts. I can’t seem to remember the complete lyrics of any song, and people must be thinking the weird busker can’t remember her songs. And why the heck is she laughing so much? Honestly, Roya and me looked like we were drunk. We just kept bursting into guffaws while I croon tunelessly (and unfortunately, very loudly) Aerosmith’s I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing. Goodness knows that’s the only song I remember, because I love to annoy Bryan with it.

So, with Roya taking the video and encouraging me along (eventually joining me in singing the song), I passed my first test. Of course, no one paid me anything – except weird, terrified and stricken stares. Thank goodness I took out my specs and pulled the hat Roya gave me REAL low, so I didn’t have to see anybody’s face. Oh, the sweet Roya also donated 50 cent to me for my effort! Woot! It proved my theory wrong – you actually don’t need to give me a lot of money and a whole lot more of drugs to make me do really stupid things. I need to have another look at my values.

Test #2: Take picture with random hot guy

I actually wanted to take picture with a real hot, real cute, and real young (like, 5 years old) guy, er, boy. Unfortunately, I am without a charming gene in me. The boy was walking to and fro by our table in Ole Ole Bali, and guess how I tried to pick him up?

Me: (Waved at boy, signaled him to come, point at camera).

Boy: (Stared. Ran.)

Kena from Roya. Gave me a lesson on “How to Ask a Stranger Kid to Take Picture with You 101”. But too late lah… the boy was too scared of me already (I kept forgetting I was wearing the bumble-bee antenna, thus fulfilling all the qualities of a Weird Auntie Whom You Should Never Speak To).

In the end, I posed with Mr. Ronald McDonald. It was late and the McD staff were all doing the clean up, and there I was, trying awkwardly to hook up with Ol’ Ron. I tried sitting on his lap but it was too slippery >.<

So, I had to pretend I was giving him a peck on the cheek. Dear friends, I do not usually look or act like that. It was the whole M.A. (Marching-into-Adulthood, not middle age) crisis. On other days, I’m kind of an uninteresting lump.

.

Test #3: Greet a stranger in a foreign language

I tried shouting “Hola” at all the kids I see. None of them paid attention and Roya said that it would only be counted if the kids gave a response. Well, one kid eventually did. I shouted “Hola” at her and she just went stunned, holding her ice cream, and glanced quickly to her little friend beside her. It was a good enough response for me. Needless to say, I didn’t hang around to wait for more responses (in case it happens to be the Hospital Bahagia ambulance siren).

Test #4: Do a travel show acting as Paris Hilton

I’m hawt. Or, at least, I tried to be. So, I just went around introducing everything around me (for some reason I kept talking about the moon o.O), talking in a nasal voice and repeating “That’s hawt.” I don’t think I acted like Paris. For one, I forgot to give reeeeeally long pauses before I start each sentence. And to give short sentences only, as if they exhaust me. Nah, I was just applying my dumb blonde stereotype and acting like worldwide air-heads rolled into one. At least Roya had a good laugh. I think. Thank goodness no one was within earshot.

Test #5: Do obscene poses with mannequins

Yucks. Enuff said.

Test #6: Catwalk down the corridor in front of the shops

“HOW LAH?” I asked. Roya said must do with complete set of poses that models do at the end of the stage. In front of so many midnight movie-goers (eh, no need to sleep one ah you all?). In the end, I just walked purposefully down the corridor, stopped, and knocked my hips left and right. Miss. J would have whimpered.

Test #7: Scream on the top of my lungs in whichever balcony available

Actually wanted to scream somewhere in Sunway Lagoon but it looked too dangerous. So, I just stood at the balcony overlooking the bottom floor in Pyramid and let out an inaudible scream while Roya took a picture. Her skill was so damn good she actually got one of me flinging my hands like my nails broke. T.T

Test #8: Try on three most expensive dresses in the boutiques and cam-whore in the dressing room.

Shops were closed. Muahaha.

Test #9: Make a list of things that I love in my life, and a list of what do I see myself in ten years time, and read back the list in ten years time

Me: HOW CAN I REMEMBER TO READ IT BACK IN TEN YEARS TIME LA?

Roya: Ask your mother remind you.

Me: -________-''

Test #10: Wear bumble-bee antenna all night

Even though I can’t go back to Pyramid for another decade, even though I’d scare small kids and amuse adults – but since Pap Pap made it for me, I wore it. All night.

Is it even legal to wear something so cute on your 21st?

The antenna was so kawaii-desu-neh I had to wear again the next night to show off to Bryan, who went -_____________-''

***

And finally! The clock struck midnight and I was officially and eligibly 21! I can’t believe I passed all the tests (cheated in some of them though) in two hours!

It was unbelievable. Roya’s plans took my mundane expectations and danced on it. She really knows how to cheer an old girl up, and get her drunkenly mad, minus the expensive alcohol! Who said you need a party to have fun? Roya took the trouble to think up some crazy ideas, make the antenna, and made sure two persons can rock just as well!

Thanks Roya, for making the night I turned 21 truly memorable, fun and worthy to tell my grandchildren of – I’ll warn them against me.

P/S. I suspect Roya would put the pics and vids up on Facebook one of these days. Do approach with an open mind and erase it from your memory afterwards. Thank you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, actually, this birthday has been incredibly sweet. THANK YOU ALL YOU AWESOME PEOPLE for the lovely GIFTS and the touching sms-es/blog-post-wish/IM messages/Facebook messages/verbal wishes/birthday songs.

Muaksies! You all mean so much to me. Thank you for staying by me.

Baby sayang also brought me to the Lookout Post in Ulu Langat for dinner overlooking the sunset sky. Thanks dear~ ^___^

Spilled orange paint on sky

Heavenward

Through the metal grills

Bryan's drink - Yummy! I stole most of it
because it has nata de coco and my drink
tasted like melted chocolate ice cream >.<

My portugal chicken - sweet, sour, spicy, sticky

Flora

Illuminated

Too cute

Together - forward

Thanks baby, too, for the nice surprise! <3

Once again, thank you all for helping me grow up happily!