Midnight Musings

Only a writer knows how great a loser she is.
Only a writer can foresee how lonely is her personal journey into a world constructed with strokes and syllables.
Because the writer knows that no matter who she brings along with her, no one can truly share the same experience. Same ride, same conversation, even. But never the same landscape. Their eyes, not hers. Vice versa.
Because the writer would brush off all compliments and confidence in her ability, as only writers can.
Because the writer thinks she does not deserve it. She, who has no bridge between a fleeting inspiration and a perfected tale. No message between the scrawled outlines to the typed full-stop.
Because the writer wants to believe that they have the hardest job in the world.
And, from one writer to another, I recommend the movie “Adaptation”.
It begins with flowers. It ends with flowers too. Orchids, actually.
And in between, you get frustrations. Self pity. Guy with no front teeth. Confusion that guy with no front teeth can be so dashing. Nicholas Cage. Two Nicholas Cages, to be exact – both with bad hair. Meryl Streep, very messed up. Blood. Gunshots. Brotherly love. Funny lines. Sex. Porn.
Your average Hollywood movie, save for the fact that it isn’t.
It’s about adaptation, in a world so, I quote about everyone in the movie, “f***ed up” (asterisks added. Adaptation, you know).
It’s about not being able to write. It’s about false starts in writing. It’s about more false starts. And then, the writer gets desperate. Everything starts to sounds good. Then, everything starts to sound bad.
And then, everything starts to sound simple.
Pardon my inability to make anything clear now. My mind is still processing this dark comedy, and this usually means my thoughts are synapses having private conversations - arguments, even. Somewhere in the midst I thought I saw a flying chair.
So let me make this clear. Don’t waste time reading me. Go watch the movie. If you love it, let’s have coffee. If you hate it, go watch it again.
Or, just try to write something.
I just love it because in its attempt to not preach anything, it preaches about everything.